Mike – networking is 100% about mutual benefit of interacting … but I don't see how my question would seem like an attempted disguise to anything.

If I ask, “is there any way I can help you?” it's because I'm curious if there's any way I can help you.

The flip side is that I hope you'll ask me too – which provides mutual benefit.

I wouldn't ask the question if I didn't mean it. What if you get a response like, “I need X, Y, Z…oh and A, B and C too. Think you can help?” You're going to look like a putz if you say, “Um…no. I didn't think you really would need my help at all!”

@Ben – Good point, I guess its a personality thing. Culturally, Australians cringe at forward sales techniques, maybe that's what the statement seems like to me.

You're right – If you are going to ask it, you'd better have a good answer!

Mike – I am Australian too. Perhaps that is the cause of my hesitance to this technique too.

Ben – I think re-phrasing the question — “Is there something I can do to help you guys out?” or “What are you looking for help with right now?” is much better. I like that!

Guys – I'm Canadian and we've got to be wimpier than Australians! *chuckle*

And I don't look at this as a forward sales technique at all. I'm not trying to sell you anything – I'm trying to help you succeed.

More often than not I think the answer is, “I really need a great X.” X being some sort of resource – a designer, etc. – and through your own network you can connect the people together.

I'm not asking, “How can I help you?” … and then trying to sell. I'm genuinely seeing if my expertise, contacts, etc. can be of use.

Levell — rephrasing works, absolutely. I think the first way of rephrasing it works nicely – hopefully it keeps the focus on helping and not selling, enough so that people don't feel you're being brash or forward.

Ha! I've *just* moved to canada! People here are much more forward with sales type stuff.

Good discussion, it's made me think about how I can better network, particularly in a new town in a new country.

urbanmike – where'd you move? You're not in Montreal are you!?!?

Nope – I've moved to Castlegar, BC…
http://maps.google.com/?q=Castlegar,+BC,+Canada

Just moved here 2 weeks ago, working as a Design and Project Manager for a Civil Engineering Firm.

urbanmike – too bad. If you're ever in Montreal, give me a holler.

I just read the exchange with Mark Whiting. Would phrasing the question something like, “Is there anything I can do for you?” be more palatable? I was recently at a spiritual retreat. A guy was introduced to me, and the first thing he did was say, “So, how can I help you?” The question actually sruck me as inappropriate being asked right off the bat.

Stuart,

I think your suggested approach is quite a bit easier to handle. I also think that when it comes down to it, the idea of the approach should be aggressive but if in practice it can also be made personable, it will ensure a better response.

Guys – thanks for keeping the discussion going. No matter what words you use to ask the question, the way in which you ask it is key.

If I ask, “So, how can I help?” and I'm sitting in your face with my sales presentation – that's bad. If I ask it casually, while we're drinking beers at a pub, that's good. Both the question and the beers…