Great Leaders Admit When They Don’t Know
“I don’t know.”
3 simple words. They’re not always easy to say. No one likes to admit they don’t have an answer.
Some people won’t say “I don’t know.” They’d rather stumble their way through a bogus answer, pull something out of thin air (or elsewhere!) or outright lie. For some, avoiding “I don’t know” is an art. Think: politicians. Masters at filling the air with sound and carbon dioxide but not much else.
“I don’t know…”
Alone, the phrase isn’t all that important. What matters is what you say right after.
“I don’t know, but…
Now we’re getting somewhere. What you say next makes all the difference in the world.
- “I don’t know, but I will get back to you.”
- “I don’t know, but I’m interested in what you think.”
- “I don’t know, but does it really matter anyway?”
- “I don’t know, but let’s bring in a couple other guys and ask them.”
- “I don’t know, but you don’t have to worry about that.”
Great leaders are brave and honest. They know when they need to say, “I don’t know.” More importantly, they follow it up appropriately. And in communicating effectively, it’s not only the words you use that matter, but how you say them and how you present yourself.
The worst thing you can do is devalue the questions or opinions of the people you’re supposed to be leading. It’s easy to do - brush off questions, not pay enough attention to what’s going on, be flippant - but it’s a motivation killer. It erodes trust. And it’s a sign that you don’t care.
Not knowing something isn’t a problem. It’s OK to say, “I don’t know.” And in fact, it can work to your advantage as a leader by demonstrating your honesty, openness and willingness to seek the help of others.
I agree with you completely. When someone is new to a leadership role, they tend to think they were put there because they are supposed to know everything…big mistake. Saying “I don’t know…but I’ll find out” is a big help. The leaders role is to focus people’s attention on the completion of outcomes and take themselves out of the center of the universe.
Well, then I must be some kind of rock star, because more than half the time I don’t know what the heck I’m doing and I’m flying by the seat of my pants!
Tremendous point, Ben. Sadly, a lot of high-level types will read that and not recognize themselves in the slightest. The good news is that the advice is applicable to any professional at any level. And those who follow it are likely to climb that much faster.
The best professionals at any level won’t short-circuit projects by pretending they have all the answers. Just as they’ll always take the time to listen to clients, they’ll always be able to learn from one another.
@Harvey: I once read that the best leaders didn’t own anything, but could influence a ton. What do you think about that?
A leader’s role is to influence, not own…
@Wendy: You know you’re a rockstar. And you’re doing one better than me — I can’t even find my pants!
@Jay: I agree. My post is geared towards leaders and leadership skills, but can apply to anyone at any level. Employees who “know everything” can be as damaging as all-knowing bosses.
I’d also offer: “I don’t know enough to take a position; have you done research on that?”
One of the things a leader can do is engage the right people, listen, and then come to a decision that is a combination of different opinions. The key is to get all the opinions out there so that people have their say and believe that they contributed to the decision one way or the other.
Much of the decision-making today is simply expedient. It’s a fast IM, a quick phone call, and a decision is made even though the leader still doesn’t know.
Scot - I hear you completely. Of course, the one problem with the strategy you propose is it can lead down the slippery slope of “decision by committee.”
I’m a firm believer that a leader should and can take the feedback of others into consideration, but at the end of the day, the decision is with the leader. And, they have to be careful about overly weighing any one opinion or voice in their decision making process.
[…] Smith paints a beautiful picture of the healthy ego when he talks about humility. Remember: great leaders don’t have all the answers. “Humility has a reputation of being the polar opposite of excessive ego. In fact, the exact […]
Without a doubt this is true. A true leader, in my opinion, simply has the stomach to take responsibility for everything placed in their care. What true leaders do not have is all the answers. And the best leaders surround themselves with people who know more than they do. Just ask anyone who’s been successful.
If only our leaders had the balls to actually be so truthful. I also agree with several of the comments which have been expressed here as well regarding decision by committee. The honesty issue is one reason that even as a conservative, I would and will vote for Obama should he win the DNC nomination because I believe he is the most honest and truthful candidate we’ve had the chance to vote for in a long, long time.
@Michael: Great leaders have to have the “balls” to be this truthful. Otherwise, I’m not sure they qualify as great leaders.
As for our leaders…well, I think they speak for themselves in terms of “greatness” *chuckle*