What’s The Cornerstone of Any Great Relationship?

June 18, 2007 by Ben Yoskovitz 19 Comments

Whether business or personal, no relationship succeeds without trust.

Trust is the cornerstone of any great relationship. There are plenty of other important ingredients, but trust rules them all.

Trust is especially important when first starting a business. You’ll rely heavily on your business partners to do their share and more. You’ll trust them to do what they need to do in order for the business to get rolling. At such an early stage, if there’s no trust, you might as well pack up and go home.

And where does this trust come from?

It’s tough to say. Trust is something you feel intrinsically, but it’s also earned. When first starting a business, there may not be any prior working relationship between the partners, so there may not have been any opportunity to earn trust. You might have been friends, but the trust gained through friendship isn’t always the same as the trust you need in business.

You can get to know your partner before going into business, but until everyone’s feet are in the fire, you can’t be certain if they’re trustworthy.

So you go with your gut. It’s scary, and risky, but ultimately very few businesses succeed without partners. You need them to bring complimentary skills, leverage their network, and share your dream. And you trust they’ll do all those things.

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Fred Brunel

You’re right about the trust you have in your friends is different from the one you need in business.

I had hard experiments working with friends. Because of this friendship they were lacking commitments and I end up being very disappointed.

It’s not easy to find the people with the will and discipline to start a business with you.

I’m glad you found out. 🙂
Fred Brunel

You're right about the trust you have in your friends is different from the one you need in business.

I had hard experiments working with friends. Because of this friendship they were lacking commitments and I end up being very disappointed.

It's not easy to find the people with the will and discipline to start a business with you.

I'm glad you found out. 🙂
terra

I can personally attest that this is true! I once had a venture that I had an odd feeling about… and I learned that in the end, I really SHOULD have trusted my gut. Great post!
terra

I can personally attest that this is true! I once had a venture that I had an odd feeling about… and I learned that in the end, I really SHOULD have trusted my gut. Great post!
Ben Yoskovitz

Fred – I’ve been through my share of partners over the last 10+ years in business, and speak from experience when I talk about things like lack of trust and problems in that area.

It’s definitely hard to find great partners, there’s no question about it!
Ben Yoskovitz

Fred – I've been through my share of partners over the last 10+ years in business, and speak from experience when I talk about things like lack of trust and problems in that area.

It's definitely hard to find great partners, there's no question about it!
Mat

Even your gut can be wrong on occasion however. Only after years of working alongside someone to you get to understand the true “measure of a (wo)man”.
Mat

Even your gut can be wrong on occasion however. Only after years of working alongside someone to you get to understand the true “measure of a (wo)man”.
Ben Yoskovitz

Mat – No disagreement there. But when you’re founding a company, or bringing someone in at a very early stage, you don’t have those years of experience to measure the person. You’ve got to go with your gut.

If you have other means of assessing someone’s trustworthiness at such an early stage – by all means do it – because that’s the real thrust of this post: the importance of trust.
Ben Yoskovitz

Mat – No disagreement there. But when you're founding a company, or bringing someone in at a very early stage, you don't have those years of experience to measure the person. You've got to go with your gut.

If you have other means of assessing someone's trustworthiness at such an early stage – by all means do it – because that's the real thrust of this post: the importance of trust.
David at ReflectionsCoachingLL

Ben,

Right on the money.

The ultimate questions is: How do you know in your gut that things might work out?

We have to feel that all parties have a reasonable chance of meeting expectations. To be able to get to that point, we have to share common ground – we have to share similar values that form the foundation of our relationship. The ultimate key is in identifying those values.
Steve Rucinski

Great post Ben. I use a three step process I call Truth, Trust and Respect. If I don't feel I am getting and comfortable giving all 3 in a relationship then I move on or at least keep some distance until they are achieved.
Ben Yoskovitz

@David – I’m horribly slow at responding to comments it seems, but hopefully you see this still.

I agree that people coming together need to share some common ground and values to have a good meeting of the minds.

You use common ground and common value – or what you think those will be – when you do a gut check on moving forward.
Ben Yoskovitz

@Steve – Don’t you think TRUST goes first? You need to trust before anything…even if you’re holding things back in a relationship. Trust can be supported by truth, and of course if Truth or Respect aren’t there, Trust diminishes…
Ben Yoskovitz

@David – I'm horribly slow at responding to comments it seems, but hopefully you see this still.

I agree that people coming together need to share some common ground and values to have a good meeting of the minds.

You use common ground and common value – or what you think those will be – when you do a gut check on moving forward.
Ben Yoskovitz

@Steve – Don't you think TRUST goes first? You need to trust before anything…even if you're holding things back in a relationship. Trust can be supported by truth, and of course if Truth or Respect aren't there, Trust diminishes…

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