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The Most Important Question You Can Ask When Networking

How Can I Help You?

This question is so effective because:

  1. It shows you care.
  2. It gives the person an opportunity to talk about themselves.
  3. It opens up opportunities.
  4. It’s easy for the person to reciprocate by asking the same question.
  5. It gets to the heart of networking.

So, how can I help you?

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January 23, 2007 Posted in Business by

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  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    Mike – networking is 100% about mutual benefit of interacting … but I don't see how my question would seem like an attempted disguise to anything.

    If I ask, “is there any way I can help you?” it's because I'm curious if there's any way I can help you.

    The flip side is that I hope you'll ask me too – which provides mutual benefit.

    I wouldn't ask the question if I didn't mean it. What if you get a response like, “I need X, Y, Z…oh and A, B and C too. Think you can help?” You're going to look like a putz if you say, “Um…no. I didn't think you really would need my help at all!”

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    @Ben – Good point, I guess its a personality thing. Culturally, Australians cringe at forward sales techniques, maybe that’s what the statement seems like to me.

    You’re right – If you are going to ask it, you’d better have a good answer!

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    @Ben – Good point, I guess its a personality thing. Culturally, Australians cringe at forward sales techniques, maybe that's what the statement seems like to me.

    You're right – If you are going to ask it, you'd better have a good answer!

  • http://mark.whiting.googlepages.com Mark Whiting

    Mike – I am Australian too. Perhaps that is the cause of my hesitance to this technique too.

  • http://mark.whiting.googlepages.com Mark Whiting

    Mike – I am Australian too. Perhaps that is the cause of my hesitance to this technique too.

  • Levell Moore

    Ben – I think re-phrasing the question — “Is there something I can do to help you guys out?” or “What are you looking for help with right now?” is much better. I like that!

  • Levell Moore

    Ben – I think re-phrasing the question — “Is there something I can do to help you guys out?” or “What are you looking for help with right now?” is much better. I like that!

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    Guys – I’m Canadian and we’ve got to be wimpier than Australians! *chuckle*

    And I don’t look at this as a forward sales technique at all. I’m not trying to sell you anything – I’m trying to help you succeed.

    More often than not I think the answer is, “I really need a great X.” X being some sort of resource – a designer, etc. – and through your own network you can connect the people together.

    I’m not asking, “How can I help you?” … and then trying to sell. I’m genuinely seeing if my expertise, contacts, etc. can be of use.

    Levell — rephrasing works, absolutely. I think the first way of rephrasing it works nicely – hopefully it keeps the focus on helping and not selling, enough so that people don’t feel you’re being brash or forward.

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    Guys – I'm Canadian and we've got to be wimpier than Australians! *chuckle*

    And I don't look at this as a forward sales technique at all. I'm not trying to sell you anything – I'm trying to help you succeed.

    More often than not I think the answer is, “I really need a great X.” X being some sort of resource – a designer, etc. – and through your own network you can connect the people together.

    I'm not asking, “How can I help you?” … and then trying to sell. I'm genuinely seeing if my expertise, contacts, etc. can be of use.

    Levell — rephrasing works, absolutely. I think the first way of rephrasing it works nicely – hopefully it keeps the focus on helping and not selling, enough so that people don't feel you're being brash or forward.

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    Ha! I've *just* moved to canada! People here are much more forward with sales type stuff.

    Good discussion, it's made me think about how I can better network, particularly in a new town in a new country.

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    Ha! I’ve *just* moved to canada! People here are much more forward with sales type stuff.

    Good discussion, it’s made me think about how I can better network, particularly in a new town in a new country.

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    urbanmike – where'd you move? You're not in Montreal are you!?!?

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    urbanmike – where’d you move? You’re not in Montreal are you!?!?

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    Nope – I've moved to Castlegar, BC…
    http://maps.google.com/?q=Castlegar,+BC,+Canada

    Just moved here 2 weeks ago, working as a Design and Project Manager for a Civil Engineering Firm.

  • http://urbanworkbench.com urbanmike

    Nope – I’ve moved to Castlegar, BC…
    http://maps.google.com/?q=Castlegar,+BC,+Canada

    Just moved here 2 weeks ago, working as a Design and Project Manager for a Civil Engineering Firm.

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    urbanmike – too bad. If you're ever in Montreal, give me a holler.

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    urbanmike – too bad. If you’re ever in Montreal, give me a holler.

  • http://www.consciouscooperation.com Stuart Baker

    I just read the exchange with Mark Whiting. Would phrasing the question something like, “Is there anything I can do for you?” be more palatable? I was recently at a spiritual retreat. A guy was introduced to me, and the first thing he did was say, “So, how can I help you?” The question actually sruck me as inappropriate being asked right off the bat.

  • http://www.consciouscooperation.com Stuart Baker

    I just read the exchange with Mark Whiting. Would phrasing the question something like, “Is there anything I can do for you?” be more palatable? I was recently at a spiritual retreat. A guy was introduced to me, and the first thing he did was say, “So, how can I help you?” The question actually sruck me as inappropriate being asked right off the bat.

  • http://mark.whiting.googlepages.com Mark Whiting

    Stuart,

    I think your suggested approach is quite a bit easier to handle. I also think that when it comes down to it, the idea of the approach should be aggressive but if in practice it can also be made personable, it will ensure a better response.

  • http://mark.whiting.googlepages.com Mark Whiting

    Stuart,

    I think your suggested approach is quite a bit easier to handle. I also think that when it comes down to it, the idea of the approach should be aggressive but if in practice it can also be made personable, it will ensure a better response.

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    Guys – thanks for keeping the discussion going. No matter what words you use to ask the question, the way in which you ask it is key.

    If I ask, “So, how can I help?” and I'm sitting in your face with my sales presentation – that's bad. If I ask it casually, while we're drinking beers at a pub, that's good. Both the question and the beers…

  • http://www.instigatorblog.com Ben Yoskovitz

    Guys – thanks for keeping the discussion going. No matter what words you use to ask the question, the way in which you ask it is key.

    If I ask, “So, how can I help?” and I’m sitting in your face with my sales presentation – that’s bad. If I ask it casually, while we’re drinking beers at a pub, that’s good. Both the question and the beers…

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About Ben Yoskovitz
I recently joined GoInstant as VP Product. GoInstant changes how we use the web, making it shareable like never before.

I'm also a Founding Partner at Year One Labs, an early stage accelerator in Montreal. Previously I founded Standout Jobs (and sold it). I'm a hands-on startup guy, helping companies grow successfully from the idea forward. You can reach me at byosko at gmail dot com.

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