Instigator Blog

Work-life balance is a topic of constant debate. Can you achieve it? Does it exist? What’s it all mean?

Wendy Piersall is asking those very questions. This time she’s asking dads for their input. Certainly, this is a topic of much debate and difficulty for moms. But dads get less attention. It’s assumed that dads will exist more on the work side than the life side. There’s no question, we do.

Yet, I know more and more fathers unwilling to sacrifice the life-side of the equation. They want to be there for their families, they don’t want to be married to their work. It’s tough. Lots of expectations weigh on our shoulders.

So when asked the question, “How do you balance work and life?” I reflect on my current situation - starting Standout Jobs at the same time that I’m raising a young family. Here’s what I’ve got:

You work hard.

Really, really hard.

Sometimes you win.

Sometimes you don’t.

You live on a roller coaster.

Each day you go to battle…

And hold on for dear life.

But you love every minute of it.

And that’s the secret. That’s how you start a company and a family at the same time.

Love your family. Love what you do.

Beyond the love and passion you have for your family and your business, here are some additional things to think about:

1. Every day, try and move things forward, even just a little bit. Think chess. Granted, your life is more like chess on speed…
2. Spend time with your kids. As a dad, I like to do those things my wife isn’t fond of, to complement the many talents she brings to the game. Kick a ball. Roughhouse. It can be simple, your kids will love the time.
3. Don’t take things too seriously. I would never de-value the importance of your business; but it’s not worth sacrificing your life for.
4. Date your wife.
5. Become a master of productivity.
6. Realize that no situation lasts forever. Your child might be having trouble sleeping - that’s OK, it won’t last forever. You need to spend more hours working to get your business going - that’s OK, you can balance it later. As grim as any situation might look, remember that it won’t last.
7. Develop a routine. This is perhaps the most important thing you can do - for yourself and your family. Kids thrive on routine. It sets good expectations for how things ought to be. It won’t be perfect, but it will help tremendously if you can setup a routine that’s manageable. Squeeze the chaos just a little bit.

Images from Flickr: jsems, pete90291, olive le basque_64, ed from ohio, soldiersmediacenter, dru!

A quick reminder to fellow Montreal tech entrepreneurs — the Montreal Tech Entrepreneur Breakfast (#6 I believe) — will be held tomorrow at 9am at Bistro, Etc.

It’s free to attend, come as you are. It’s a great place to catch up and meet new people.

If you want to sign-up, you can do so at the Event registration page on Upcoming.org.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

It’s been just about a month or so since I switched from Akismet to Defensio.

The Defensio team are good friends of mine - Carl Mercier (uber-developer in charge of things over there) and Mat Balez (as good an instigator as any). They asked me to alpha test their WordPress plugin and I was happy to oblige.

Defensio is now in closed-beta. You can contact them for an invite by visiting the Defensio website.

In January, I wrote a blog post about ways Akismet could be improved. I know Carl and Mat didn’t read that post and decide to build a better spam plugin, but they’ve started to implement some of those ideas in a worthwhile way. They’ve sworn me to some amount of secrecy, so you’ll just have to sign-up for the beta yourself.

In the meantime, the results have been good. It’s not that Akismet does a terrible job, but there doesn’t seem to be much new work being done on it. The Defensio team are committed to making improvements to their existing WordPress plugin, and seeing if they can do a better job of beating spam. Even some of the Administrative interface changes alone make Defensio worthwhile.

Blog spam is a tough nut to crack. Spammers seem intent on making our lives miserable; and it’s frustrating when spam sneaks through, or worse, we find false positives caught in our spam filters. It’s a cat and mouse game that we’ll be playing with spammers for many, many years to come. Defensio may be able to help.

The A-list debate rages on. Every couple of months it rears its head as people argue over whether the A-list exists and whether it remains relevant.

In this latest installment, Hugh MacLeod is arguing that social networks and social networking tools (Facebook, Twitter, Pownce) have given people more power and ability to build their own groups, and not be as reliant on A-listers as hubs of attention. I think blogs already gave people that power; there are plenty of “networks of blogs” and “blog communities” that are thriving without A-list support. You don’t need links from A-listers, nor will they suddenly turn you from a zero to hero overnight. But…

The A-List does exist.

The A-List is relevant.

What people miss (on both sides of the argument) is how the A-list is relevant.

The A-list is made up of tech-focused, early adopters. If you’re in the tech business, running a Web 2.0 startup, hoping to generate buzz and build key relationships in places like the Valley, then being in-tune with the A-list and being able to reach the A-list has value. Having Robert Scoble promote you, your business and your product will help. It’s not the “be all and end all” but it will help.

The A-list, within the tech community, has the power to create lots and lots of buzz.

That can be useful.

But for most people (since most people in the blogosphere aren’t starting Web 2.0 startups) it’s not relevant.

For me, that’s the end of the argument. It’s a question of relevancy. It’s a question of strategic value. Not celebrity, not hero worship, not “who has the most friends in every social network.”

The A-list exists.

The A-list is relevant…for certain people, under certain circumstances.

Where we all go wrong is that too many people believe that being connected to the A-listers will be of real value to them. In reality, it won’t.

In Tony Hung’s world, the A-list matters a great deal. He lives and breathes Web 2.0, reports on it and the relationships he builds with A-listers can help him further his own goals (whatever they may be.) And Tony points out the obvious, which I agree with — some people are more popular than others.

For Brian Clark, the A-list is irrelevant. In his brilliantly titled post, Blogging is Dead (Long Live Value Blogging), he says he’s thrilled that tools like Twitter and Pownce exist, so all the banal “stuff” people want to write about (like what they’re having for lunch, etc.) moves to those mediums, and blogging is left to those that, “…provide true value by teaching, informing and offering unique perspective are thriving.”

Fair enough, I’ll buy that argument. There’s no question that quality blogs are thriving in a huge way, irrespective of social networking tools. And I don’t see a time in the near future where we won’t have quality blogs growing bigger and bigger audiences. No amount of social networking tools will change the value of blogs.

But Brian’s focused almost exclusively on blogging. And in that case, he’s right, you don’t need the A-list for your blog to be successful. On the other hand, if you’re trying to launch a Web 2.0 startup and you’re hoping to get mentioned on TechCrunch, get Jason Calacanis as an advisor, and generate lots of initial buzz, then the A-list becomes much more important.

Some people will always be more popular than others. That’s how the world works. And in some cases it’s worth being buddy-buddy with the popular kids. And in other cases it doesn’t matter. Each of us has to decide whether it’s really worth it or not, and go from there.

There’s nothing like starting a business to put your proverbial feet to the fire. Over the past 10 years as a Web and software entrepreneur I’ve learned an incredible amount. There have been times where my learning ebbed, and looking back, those were some of the most frustrating and depressing times.

Adam Kayce (from the brilliantly named, Monk at Work) asked, “What’s your learning edge? Where are you pushing the envelope of your learning? What are you into right now?”

Learning is like life - an evolution from something small to something bigger. We grow as people over time, and a big part of that is based on what we’re learning.

For me, it’s all about taking my startups to the next level. I achieved a certain level of success in the past, and I want to go far, far beyond that with Standout Jobs. And after Standout Jobs, we’ll go further still. That means a massive expansion in my learning.

Currently, I’m reading Founders at Work by Jessica Livingston. It’s the culmination of numerous interviews Jessica did with top Web/Internet and software entrepreneurs. Lots of lessons learned, and more blog posts coming in the future (as soon as I finish the book!)

Some of my most recent lessons learned:

1. How to scale quickly and properly
2. How to deal with financing and venture capital (this includes lots of reading: Fred Wilson, Venture Hacks, Ask The VC)
3. More tracking of the Web 2.0 industry and where things are going with social networking, video, etc. (again, this involves lots of reading: Frantic Industries, GigaOM, Paul Kedrosky, etc.)

Part of my job with Standout Jobs is to build key relationships in the HR and recruiting worlds. This means an insane amount of learning, and this is perhaps truly my “learning edge” because it’s so new. I look at much of my development and learning in the startup world as an evolution of what I had previously done, but burying myself in the world of recruiting is new, refreshing and incredibly challenging.

The best way to learn is to live. And do. Books will only take you so far. Get out there, start something, and learn on the fly.